How to get baby off to sleep yogi ninja style


When did this happen???!!! It used to be so easy to get Flynn down to sleep in the evening to go to bed. Bottle, bath, bed routine worked for months without a hitch. It was my only saving grace when I used to tell people how early Flynn would wake up in the mornings and they would be like ooooh that’s early you poor thing my little one doesn’t wake up until at least 7.30am. At least then I could be like oooh that sounds terrible how long it takes to get your little one down to sleep, ooooh poor you. But now I don’t even have that. Dammit. 

So it’s the same routine just a little teeth clean after the bath and more of padded suit to wear. You’ve probably heard of those baby gro bags well they are fab. They keep baby snuggly warm, are easy to put on and you don’t have that constant panic of ‘have they gone under their blanket’ at 2am, 3am 4am and so on. But unfortunately our days of the gro bag came to an end when Flynn started to stand up and consequently fall down as he couldn’t keep his balance. Then he would proceed do the backward worm to the base of his cot where he would get stuck, sit up, and bang his tiny fists on the wood and shout mama into the camera for help. Lovely way to start your day at 5am. So we invested in a 2.5 tog suit, he looks like a mini Michelin man but it does the job. So now he’s able to stand up and sit down himself (thanks to ‘the suit’) before doing the backwards crawl to the end of the bed where he does the little fist bang and shout to mama in the camera, just because that’s what he knows to do. What baby wants to break their routine eh!

So anyways back to getting to sleep, you put baby in the cot and start telling stories until they get drowsy and drop off. It can now can take anything of up to seven renditions of ‘We’re going on a bear hunt’ rather than just the one in the old days (by old days I mean like up until last week) and sometimes it was only up to the snowstorm part. Now those in the baby bedtime book know will know exactly how many seconds it takes to each part of the bear hunt and how many times you have to repeat it to get your little one to drop off. Trust me this book is ingrained in my memory with a stop watch attached to it. Now I get so bored after seven times I like to change things up and I switch to ‘We’re going on a bar hunt’. Yes this book actually exists, it’s VERY funny and oh so true! So he doesn’t even realise I’m still talking as by now he’s bored of bears and bars and sleep is suddenly more attractive (it is to me too right now too) and he’s dropping off. So you sneak away (but really you are sat behind the head of his cot, little does he know ha!). Oh no suddenly there’s a little head peering down. Damn. So this is where my (I like to say ninja) yoga moves come in very handy. Onto all fours, both feet back, into plank, down through chaturanga and back up into upward facing dog around the other side of his cot. I feel so fast and slick he can’t possibly have seen me. I would give the milk tray man a run for his money. Ok he’s back down, he must be thinking I’m sure I saw mummy but oh well probably not she must have gone to bed after all those boring stories. A few back strokes before I leave (he must have seen me doing this to the dog one day and thought hey that looks like nice as it really seals the deal on sleep) and that’s us. The end of the line he’s asleep. Yessssssssss.